My Car Has Been Running Since the Summer and So Have I

I have this bad habit of keeping my car running while I’m not in it

and I don’t know if it’s so it’ll stay warm on a cold day

Kind of the same way he did in the winter

Or if it’s so I’ll always have an escape plan,

Kind of like the one I had in the spring

It just keeps filling up my garage with toxins

Keeps the fumes coming in

but I keep my eyes shut so I can pretend I don’t notice

Like how we knew we were in danger but we kept the keys in the car, kept the door shut, turned the lights off so we didn’t notice each other

I have this bad habit of keeping my car running while I’m not in it

and I don’t know if it’s because I can’t decide if I want to leave yet or not

I’ve never been very good with timing

Maybe that’s why I left in the middle of everything

Why I crumbled to the ground, took my foot off the brake and rolled right into the wall

I never know when to put it in park

When it’s too soon to tell if I wanna stay

– An excerpt from a book I’ll never write

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So Little Will Power and So Little Time

So, I am coming at you guys at 10pm on the Wednesday two weeks after I promised an every Wednesday schedule. School had just started back up and AP Physics is taking some serious energy out of me BUT I am here nonetheless for a little vegan update! It’s been a little over two weeks since I officially went vegan for what, the 7th time, and it’s been so EASY for me for some reason. Like, I forget that I’m vegan now so I just kinda go with the flow and it’s not a whole lot of effort outside of figuring out what I want for lunch that week or dinner than night. Everything in my house is either Vegan or Paleo, so basically I can eat anything that isn’t a boiled egg or a chicken breast, which is really convenient. I also don’t miss any cheese or anything like I usually do because I know it’ll make me sick and I feel so much better without eating junk like that. I still eat sugar in stuff, but I have been trying to limit that or use coconut sugar in place. I am also a lot more ingredient-conscious and I try my best to stay away from anything with a ton of crap in it or a lot of chemicals. I have been photo-logging my body progress and I can already tell that I have come a little way even just in 10 or 12 days which is fantastic. Once I get into months, I’ll try and post some pictures of that progress. I have a recipe post in my drafts that I will be posting soon, and I am trying out 2 new recipes for my birthday next Thursday, so expect those soon! I also discovered that somehow Wednesdays are always super busy even though I get out of school early SO I will be moving my days to Saturday! I am going to try and post my Seven Layer Dip this upcoming Saturday and then go from there. I hope you guys will work with me with my humble beginnings and stick around to see it get organized. Watch for a post in the next few days – peace out dudes.

#GoVegan2017

Long time no see, friends. My vegan journey begins once again in the new year. I know what most people are thinking, “oh god, here she goes again”. BUT HEAR ME OUT: I have not only cleaned out my pantry (along with my parents who are going back on the Whole30 diet), but I have got my thinking on the right path again. I have finally changed my mindset from myself to the animals. In the past, I have gone vegan with all the right intentions but failed after 2 months or 2 weeks because I would say to myself – “I want cheese” or “want this pizza”. This was the total wrong way to go about things. It’s not me who really matters (which sounds bad), but it’s the countless animals who are affected by my negligence and poor choice to continue to eat dairy and eggs. Just because it tastes good doesn’t mean I should eat it, doesn’t mean I should put myself first. I could always put the fact that I was eating something with milk or eggs in it out of my mind because I hadn’t had just plain eggs or a glass of milk in years. It wasn’t until I was eating a Hershey’s bar sometime before Christmas that I realized what I was doing. The brown wrapper had a little circle on one of the corners reading “Made with REAL cow’s milk” with a happy picture of a cow on it. I kind of did one of those double checks because I wasn’t sure what I had just read. It never really connected in my brain that I was still indirectly putting dairy into my body even if I didn’t explicitly drink a glass of milk. I know that makes me sound really stupid, but something clicked that day, and I knew I had to change.

So, starting officially yesterday – January 2, 2017 – I am Vegan for GOOD. I have an accountability partner (one of my lovely friends @zionsmithh on twitter, check her out) and I have a plan. To keep myself in check and sharing my story, I have decided to really keep up with my blog and post weekly. Beginning Wednesday, January 11, I will post updates, recipes, reviews, stories, events or videos that I find every Wednesday. Hopefully everyone will enjoy my posts and they will be helpful to those trying this journey with me. In addition to my weekly posts, I will do my regular writing and photography posts as well on my random days. So, I encourage everyone to #GoVegan2017. Wish me luck!!!

twitter – personal: @carawirl / art: @staticcommotion

instagram – personal: @carolinewirl / art: @staticcommotion